Motorbikes and Masturbation

Dave was a mate for over 20 years. Originally from England, he had a colourful and varied life. He worked in advertising in London and ran pubs and since I have knew him, he has worked as a carpenter/handyman; but now he just drinks.

Dave was an alcoholic.

His addiction has been exacerbated by a serious illness – for which he is medicated – the loss of his mother and heartbreak. In recent times his life oscillated between fleeting moments of sobriety and weeks of continuous alcoholic abuse, with copious amounts of alcohol drunk each day.

He could not stop drinking.

My relationship with Dave was friendship; one of many laughs, cheeky banter, respect – even though he is very naughty – love. I was there for him whenever he needed me. He was a very funny guy; street smart with the gift of a quick mind and fast tongue. We always kept in regular contact by video chats, texts and phone calls. I also visited him regularly as he lived close by. Sometimes I did not hear from him for a week and I wonder if he was; trying to be sober, on a binge or had he actually drunk himself to death – sometimes he had told me that’s what he’d like to do.

I could not stop him from drinking.

The title of this book is derived from a phrase he said to me in jest, that all he has after drinking is motorbikes and masturbation. Ironically, because of his drinking he could do neither.

In the end Dave did what he wanted to do, and drank himself to death. I miss him.